We All Have Stories
Candy Puterbaugh
50plus Magazine
After days of nervous anticipation, my granddaughter recently stepped off the bus after her first day of kindergarten exclaiming, “That was the best day of my life! Our teacher told us stories!”
Remember those days? Sitting in a circle — on tiny chairs or the carpet — raptly listening to stories. Now our grandchildren like to hear ours. “Nana, tell us what daddy was like at our age.” Or, “Tell us about your grandma from Norway.”
While many people, particularly in later years, want to share their life stories, the idea often feels overwhelming or even impossible. Most reside in our memories or packed-away boxes.
Retired gerontologist and published author Dr. David Haber wants to help open those boxes with Life Story sessions for older adults in Salem. Having long researched and taught about aging, he understands the importance of sharing stories with each other and our families.
“There are health benefits to sharing stories,” he says. “People connect, bond, and have fun. It’s a pleasant experience. Some enjoy getting feedback and passing stories on to children and grandchildren. Studies show that people tend to remember the good stories, which increases their self-worth. They feel better about themselves.”
At 79, David has lived what he’s learned — and has many stories himself. One: meeting the founder of and joining the Gray Panthers as a young man, which helped launch and direct his career.
At 32, newly minted PhD in hand, he jumped into his first job, teaching Introduction to Gerontology. He was confident the class would be terrific and was excited to launch his career focused on aging.
Three weeks later he wandered through neighborhoods, wondering why his class was a failure.
“I was teaching 18-year-old freshmen and didn’t have the skills to draw them out,” David says. “It was frustrating. Was my career going to be a dud? On that walk, a nearby high-rise gave me an idea and changed everything.”
The building, called John Knox Village, was then one of few continuing
care retirement communities in the country.
David met with the activity director and presented a plan to pair his students with residents, With permission, the students could document their companions’ stories.
“The plan turned my teaching style around and invigorated class discussions,” David says. “More profound was that not only would students write stories, but the older adults could meet as a group and share their favorites while students observed. The plan was beneficial to both groups, and they formed nice relationships.”
The following semester David learned his sessions would continue thanks to great outcomes. The older adults found them interesting and fun, formed friendships, and came away with a written legacy for loved ones.
“Over the next half-century, my teaching included life story groups,” David says. Teaching at various universities over the years, his favorite was the University of Texas Medical Branch, as there he met his future
wife, Jeanne.
Moving to Salem to retire at 67, David discovered that Western Oregon University was starting a gerontology department. He spent five more years teaching, including life stories sessions.
Today, he wants to help others write and share their life stories in free monthly sessions at various Salem locations, including senior centers, churches and retirement communities. Ideally, groups have eight or so people — big enough so no one feels pressured, small enough so everyone has a chance to share. A free manual is provided.
“I’d like to start a session in my neighborhood for people to get to know each other,” he says. “When I moved here, I felt lonely and made an effort to go out and meet neighbors, especially older ones.”
Take that first step toward writing your life story by gathering those memories or packed-away boxes. Our grandkids’ favorite stories told by their Bubba are the real-life ones.
“Bubba, tell us again about being locked in a cage at your father’s veterinary hospital!”
Life Story Sessions
Center 50+ in Salem
Oct 16, Nov 20, Dec 18
Details/Register 503 588 6303