Enjoying the process of redecorating for its own sake

Carmelene Melanie Siani

A couple of years ago, when in conversation with a very wise woman I know, I told her about a A couple of years ago, when in conversation with a very wise woman I know, I told her about a house we had hoped to buy and my anxiety about whether the deal would go through or not.

“I’m so excited about this house I’ve entirely redecorated it in my mind.”

The woman listened and then gave me sage advice.

“Enjoy the process of redecorating for its own sake — without the anxiety of whether you actually get the house,” she said. “Decorate in your mind with abandon. Whether the deal comes through or not will take care of itself.”

And that’s exactly what happened.

I took her advice and, in my mind, knocked out walls, built rooms, added fireplaces, cabinetry, and dining room space. I painted everything in natural colors then entirely re-painted in a different pallete. I talked to my husband about whether we should convert the garage to his office or to a huge dining room, whether we should change from air-conditioning to swamp cooling. I put hardwood on the floors covered with kilims.

I decorated with abandon and had a wild time! After explaining to my husband that I wasn’t actually “planning” on making these changes in real life, that I was just decorating in my mind, he got on board and together we came up with some great ideas.
The freedom of not being attached to the outcome of whether we ended up being able to get the house or not tapped into an outflow of creativity that was pure fun!

As it turned out, the house fell through. Because of the insight given by my friend however, I couldn’t even say I was disappointed. I’d entirely owned the house in my mind, and my decorating and redecorating had made it mine. Thus, in some metaphysical way, I no longer really needed to own the house in real life! I had already owned it and was done with it. The fact that the deal fell through was meant to be. Oh, well.

I moved on.

Sort of.

After looking at many different options and many different neighborhoods David and I ultimately decided to stay put. “Redecorate the apartment,” he said. “That’s probably what gives you the most pleasure anyway.”

And so, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Except this time, I get to do it in real life, not only in my mind.

Turns out husbands can give sage advice too!