Feeling invisible? Not today!
Carmelene Melanie Siani
Just as I turned off my engine a guy in a HUGE pickup pulled into the space next to me. “Oh, geez! What does he need a truck that size for! He’ll entirely block my view when it’s time for me to back out.”
Yes. I had that critical, judgmental thought. Me, who preaches loving kindness and understanding and love, love, love.
Or, perhaps I should say: Me, the closeted judgmental, critical, crabby old lady who goes around thinking such condemning thoughts but never letting on out loud that she thinks them.
I cut the engine and walked to the back of my van. Or, I should say, I leaned on it with one hand for balance and lurched around back. Attempting to unload my rollator from within, the guy who’d parked the HUGE truck saw me and called out,
“Can I help you?”
Words to live by. And yet, here I was, judging this guy for driving such a — in my view — needless vehicle.
“Can I help you?”
What’s that saying about when the student is ready, the teacher appears — leaving out entirely the part about the teacher driving a HUGE four-wheel pickup truck!
I glanced over. He looked to be in his thirties, maybe early forties. No matter. He was hale, hearty and had the kind of shoulders I like on a man, (that’s right: at 83, I still enjoy looking at a man’s shoulders!) He stood there. . . I guess waiting for my answer. In fact, I stood there too, wondering what to say to him with all his youth and musculature.
“No thank you, I got this,” came to mind. But truth be told? “Yes, thank you, you can help me, and what are you doing for dinner tonight,” also came to mind.
Of course, what I finally said was something like, “Wow, I never expected you to offer, but thank you. Thank you for being the gentleman you are and for offering.” I reached up and closed the hatch on my van.
Earlier that morning, leaving a bakery where my husband and I had gone for a celebratory Valentine’s croissant and cappuccino, I asked an “older” (that is, my age) gentleman if he wouldn’t mind holding the door for me. That 80-something year old guy pretty much said the same thing the truck guy had. “Sure, I can hold the door” and “Can I help you put the walker in your car?”
I laughed. “Puleeze — it’s not a walker! It’s a rollator! Huge difference when you’re my age!”
How refreshing — he got my joke. As I walked (rollated?) out to my car and waiting husband he teased did I really need to flirt with every man I came across.
It was a morning filled with men. Men offering to help me load and unload my van, men holding doors, and the man who took me out for a celebratory Valentine treat. All told, I had a great day.
And let me just say… if you’re feeling invisible… get yourself a rollator!