Dementia Care: The Power of Positive Distractions

By Barbara Huelat

AS A CAREGIVER FOR SOMEONE WITH DEMENTIA, you’ve certainly experienced challenges, perhaps including situations that escalate into meltdowns, leaving you feeling frustrated and powerless. Whether it’s a refusal to enter the home, resisting a shower, or even physical outbursts, these behaviors are emotionally and physically exhausting.

While in the best of times the journey isn’t easy, there are tools that can help. One is the technique of “Positive Distractions.”

Essentially, these are diversions that redirect focus from the issue at hand. For example, let’s say your loved one is adamantly insisting that the current residence is not theirs. No amount of reasoning or insistence on your part makes a difference; in fact, it can aggravate the situation.

I experienced something similar with my own mother.

Attempting to convince my mom that she was indeed in her own home only fueled her resistance. Eventually, out of desperation, I called my brother for help. Interestingly, rather than engage in a futile attempt to change her perception, he initiated a normal conversation. The distraction proved effective as her focus shifted, and the meltdown subsided. Clearly, diverting her attention from the focus of her distress was more fruitful than arguing.

This realization stayed with me. When another episode arose, I refrained from arguing as my mother insisted her home belonged to strangers. I suggested we take a walk around the block to find her house. Upon returning, I pointed out familiar details — roses she’d planted, the porch swing she and my dad enjoyed. Reminding her of cherished memories, I was able to lead her inside, at peace.

Positive distractions can help with a variety of scenarios, such as redirecting head-banging, refusing to bathe or eat, or arguing over (often unimportant) things like something someone said or did. It is helpful that the short-term memory of individuals with dementia is weakened. While this is painful to acknowledge, it does help that they are easily distracted and often soon forget the cause of their distress.

Potential positive distractions are many: a phone call, visual reminders of favorite things, a brief stroll, a coffee break, or calling attention to something like a playful squirrel or

a beautiful flower. The key is to avoid disagreement or attempts to “right” a reality, opting instead for a diversion from the cause of upset.

Keep in mind too the power of soothing. While pictures, animals, or food can be effective, personal elements like a comforting voice, a familiar song, a heartwarming story, or a gentle touch truly help create a gentle, peaceful environment.

Get creative, develop your own repertoire, and share them with fellow caregivers. Consistently incorporating these strategies into your care routine can make a significant difference — for you, and the person in your care.

It’s important to note that while positive distractions can be incredibly effective, some meltdowns can become unmanageable. If such incidents become frequent, do not hesitate to seek help and discuss the situation with your doctor. Remember, you are not alone in this journey and support is available.

For support groups and organizations and resources visit www.barbarahuelat.com.

Barbara Huelat has been a caregiver and is author of Taming the Chaos of Dementia: A Caregiver’s Guide to Interventions that Make a Difference.