Before You Go, give your loved ones less stress by preparing

Welby O’Brien

Many mistakes are fixable. Some are not. It’s ironic that while most of us have the choice and opportunity to leave our “house in order” for those we leave behind, those who do so tend to be the exception.

When a good friend died suddenly, he left behind a tangled mess for his son to wade through. His outdated will was the least of it. Doing his best just to function in his grief, his son had no clue about his dad’s accounts or passwords and was overwhelmed with the unfinished business and loose ends.

Things would have gone so much smoother had dad taken the time to 1) organize things, and 2) provide information to guide his son.

Cleaning out clutter is an item discussed in one of my books about preparing for our own goodbye. Mentioning this once with a group, an older fellow boasted, “I’m not doing that. It’s my revenge!” This still makes me chuckle, but seriously, it will make a big difference for those left behind if we do all we can to get things in order.

The awkwardness and unpleasantness of discussing our desires, decisions and information with beloved pales in comparison to how they’ll be affected if we DON’T.

While the process can be daunting, the following can help.

•  Collect and organize all important info and let others know where to find it.

•  Be sure your will or trust is legal and current.

•  Complete an advance directive.

•  Pay your debts.

•  Consider being a donor, either organ and tissue or whole body.

•  Explore options for prepaid funeral home services.

•  Write any desires for your funeral or celebration of life.

•  Attend to any rifts with family or friends.

•  Be at peace.

The clamor of daily life is such a powerful distraction that we easily assume there will be ample time to take care of things “later.” But we all know that any of us could go at any time. Don’t wait. Why not enjoy today and every day knowing that whenever our time comes, while our dear ones will grieve, their stress will be lighter for the preparations we made. And that, my friends, is truly a gift.