The Tree

Carmelene Melanie Siani

50plus Magazine

THE WAY I THINK OF IT IS THAT WE ARE ALL LEAVES FROM THE SAME TREE. . . some different colors, some in different stages of development, some brighter because of location to the sun, some leaves even rotten, etc. etc. etc., but nevertheless — all leaves from the same tree. And the tree, in order to be exactly the tree that it is, needs every single one of those leaves exactly the way they are.

This is how I explain to myself humanity with all its strengths and weaknesses. This is how I make sense of goodness and meanness living side by side. I got this from back in the day when I was a student and read words alluding to vines and branches. I don’t remember who was the vine and who were the branches, but I remember the analogy and, in thinking about it, the tree image came to me, making perfect sense and explaining a lot.

This is also how I came to know compassion and to understand that every single leaf on the tree helps to make the tree what it is. That it’s not for me to judge or explain or criticize or even to wish certain leaves were not the way they were, (including my own “leafness”). That it is for me to simply and always celebrate the tree.

Yes. I realize that trees can be pruned and shaped and trimmed — but I’m not talking about shaping or changing the tree. I’m talking about learning compassion. I’m talking about how that has to come first, before anything else is done to the tree.

Carmelene Melanie Siani’s widely published stories on family, caregiving, grief, late-life love and more aim to help others see how life constantly opens to reveal lessons. Visit www.facebook.com/StoryBelly