Memory Café Serves up Smiles
Candy Puterbaugh
50plus Magazine
Some leaned on canes or a caregiver. Others walked tall into the luau to find colorful leis, soothing Hawaiian music and a room decorated to the hilt at Center 50+, a Salem senior center.
“Let’s pretend we’re in Hawaii!” called the emcee. That was the only pretense of the afternoon. Everything else was real — old friends, new friends, family and smiling volunteers. The group, a mix of ages and stages of dementia-related conditions, leaned into each other at round tables — circles of love and laughter.
Everyone was having fun, celebrating not only being together, but the first anniversary of the Memory Café.
“Our goal is to provide a safe, calm place for those diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and their caregivers to come together to form a community and make new friends,” says Kathy Belcher, a Salem elder law attorney who co-founded the host of Memory Café, the Alzheimer’s Network of Oregon (ANO).
“After an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, people become isolated,” Belcher says. “This gives them an opportunity to come with caregivers, usually family, to socialize. In just a year the Café has grown from eight participants to about 35. People love it and say they really needed something like this.”
Themes and Salem locations vary for the monthly get-togethers, which have included a St. Patrick’s celebration, a picnic, a wine event and strawberry shortcake at Willamette Valley Pie. Next
up is a Burger Bash at Route 99 Restaurant in nearby Brooks. Activities often include music, dance, storytelling and sing-a-longs. Photos are taken and then shared at the next event. Participants range in
age from 50 to 90.
In August, Center 50+ opened its arms and space for the luau. The center’s respite coordinator and an Alzheimer’s Network board member, Wendy Kilgore, emceed. She moved cheerfully around the room with a microphone, telling attendees their names in Hawaiian, asking who had been to Hawaii and what they did for fun.
“Snorkeling with dolphins!” exclaimed a lady named Evelyn.
“Fishing and cruising by a beautiful beach!” called out a gentleman.
Then Hawaiian music hushed the room. Eyes glowed — some moist — mesmerized by the graceful movements of a lovely Hawaiian dancer named Kanoe. Her arms moved to the music, gently reaching out as if to soothe attendees’ souls. Her four young sons, ages five to twelve, neatly combed and in matching Hawaiian shirts, accompanied Kanoe on ukulele.
“I like the music, even though I’ve only just flown over Hawaii!” said Richard Ewoldt, 74, wearing a yellow lei and sitting with his wife Yvonne, daughter Tami and son-in-law Bob. “Dad is so excited!” said Tami. “We’ll be back!”
John Berfield, 73, leaning on a colorful cane, just completed a hospital stay. “I’ve been to these shindigs before and met many people,” he said. “I love everything they do!”
Rhonda Herbert, who does pet therapy with the Canine Corps at Center 50+, started bringing her 82-year-old mother, Sandy, to the Memory Café this year. “It’s wonderful! My mom loves it — especially the singing! It’s a very positive thing for her. The volunteers are all so nice and wait on us.”
Lynn Mack has brought her mother, Joyce Hanna, 83, since March. “It’s fun to get out and meet people,” she said. Joyce added, “Everyone likes to sing along!” Sitting next to her, new friend Lynn Partlow said, “It’s nice to have a group of people I can come in and chit-chat with.”
These are words Kathy Belcher hoped to hear back in 2003 when she co-founded the nonprofit ANO to create opportunities for people affected by dementia to connect, socialize and find support. In her elder law practice, she sees many people struggling with legal issues involving those affected by Alzheimer’s, the most common form of dementia.
“It’s heartbreaking to watch the disease’s effects on those diagnosed and their loved ones,” Belcher says. “I wanted to reach out beyond my law practice to develop education and support programs to help people come to terms or deal successfully with
the disease.”
A longtime board member, past president and now president again since 2019, Belcher is happy the ANO board gave birth to the Memory Café.
“Those with Alzheimer’s and their caregivers don’t get out much,” she says. “This isn’t a respite care program for caregivers to drop them off for a break. They participate together. It’s a time to come with loved ones. Some get together outside of Memory Café. I’m delighted with how it’s going.”
Learn more about the Alzheimer’s Network of Oregon and/or Memory Cafés at alznet.wildapricot.org or
971-720-1650.