Confessions from a Recovering Perfectionist
Sherri Curly, The Practical Sort
Change is never easy. The more gray hairs we’ve earned, the harder it seems to alter ingrained behaviors. Recognizing areas for improvement is a major part of the transformation process. Sounds like something from a 12-step manual, right?
My biggest challenge is perfectionist tendencies. For me, operating efficiently saves time and is most productive. Still, I admit, sometimes this can lead to impatience or going a touch overboard.
No doubt my family members would expose me for having high expectations for them and myself. I continually work on it. Giving myself the space to transgress is part of the evolution. I’ve always loved puzzles and, like solving them, trying different ways to make things work broadens my experiences and exposure to more resources for my toolbox.
While I have loads of patience with others, I must work on self-patience and taking a breath before approaching some family members. Baby steps. Hard lessons, too.
Have you ever noticed that once you focus on something your attention is then called to every subsequent mention of the topic? And that in fact eerie coincidences pop up frequently?
Years ago, when preparing for my family’s move from Texas to Oregon, I began seeing Oregon license plates everywhere and hearing about Oregon locales on tv or in social media. Previously, Oregon hadn’t even been a thought — until my antenna was up.
When my lens is focused on perfectionism, I become aware of ads to attain the PERFECT body. Create the PERFECT home. I know it’s simply marketing lingo, but the subliminal messaging is distressing. We can put immense pressure on ourselves and our time to achieve desired levels of performance, body shape, and beauty at home without scoring perfection. Eating disorders, anxiety, overwhelm, illness, substance abuse, divorce and even suicide are byproducts of falling short in some way. But… if we lean too much the other way, our lack of performance or control can also lead to real problems.
Everything works better in balance.
What’s all this got to do with organizing? Again, it is all about balance. Organizing is not about perfection; in fact, the intent is nearly the opposite. It should make life easier and help get things done faster. If you are struggling to organize something for fear of doing it incorrectly, that is paralyzing. To-do lists remain long when you obsess on one task.
Unrealistic expectations can cause immense stress and action paralysis. There is no need to keep your home perpetually camera-ready. Ask yourself: am I at peace in my home? Can I easily find what I need? Can I accomplish tasks at a reasonable pace? If you answered yes to these questions, chances are, you’re golden.
Leave perfectionism to the media. I’m working on it; you can too.